Eric Prydz is at least presumably the star of his own video, which is set in an exercise class for people who want to be the leggy blondes in 80s music videos. It is at least more honesty than Armand: it's plainlly soft-core porn. So if you value honesty over all things, you'll enjoy this. The track, Call On Me, is the two best bits out of Steve Winwood's Valerie stuck together over and over, and is pretty good at that. Again, honest.

They meet.. in secret! They have.. skinny ties! what are Franz Ferdinand up to this time? A plan for world domination by sending out hypnotic pictures to women in the USSR, if the video for This Fire is to believed. And then it all breaks down into a mass of over-designed animation, not entirely dissimilar to seminal eastern european short Worker and Parasite. The music is wearing a bit thin, mind.

...in the name Of fuck? Steriogram (no, me neither) appear to have made an video (for Walkie Talkie Man) out of yarn, like demented Michel Gondrys. Research indicates that this mess (which looks and sounds like the misbegotten spawn of a Why Don't You project and The Cartoons) has only bothered the chart in New Zealand. Now I've never been to New Zealand, I understand it's a cultureless hinterland and all that, but surely this must have come from Holland or Belgium. It's amazing that a video can have taken as long as this did, and be so full of ideas, and still look like arse. UPDATE: HOLY SHIT IT IS GONDRY!

How To Be Dead is another of Snow Patrol's attempts to master indie-drone-pop, where the guitars jangle along for five minutes, and Gary Lightbody basically raps over them with his norn iron accent. The subject matter is a beautiful dissection of an argument. It's a live video that a lot of work has gone into with excellent sound, the sort of thing that should turn up on a concert DVD. It's very impressive in giving the sense of "there are a million people in what seems to be some eastern european venue". Actually it might be Dublin Castle.

A man falls from the sky into the pavement, and wanders down the road for a bit, oblivious to people's attempts to kill him, in a way quite similar to that Pink Panther film. It's quite diverting the first time you see it, and diverts your attention from the fact that the song (Walking In The Sun) is lightweight even by Travis standards. Multiple viewings do it no favours, mind.

"WE'RE ALL LIVINK IN AMERIKA, AMERIKA, IT'S WUNDERBAR" that's basically it as far as Rammstein's latest single goes (the rest of the lyrics are in germansese, appart from occasionally switching that second line to "MICKEY MOUSE, WONDER BRA"). THe video is them as astromauts on the moon / native americans / native americans on the moon. Cut with shots of african tribesmen watching the band on the moon while eating pizza and other not-quite-science facts. There's a lovely fucked up bit at the end where they pull back to see cameras and a make up artist and so on out of shot on the moon segments, and it's not clear wherether they're explicitly referencing Capricorn One and the mentalist theories behind it, or not. Because obviously these people are they're - it's a fucking video shoot. Then they give the taste barrier a kicking by showing a photo of Rammstein on the Moon with a shadow looming over it and the actual tape of "Houston, we've got a problem here."

How many bands are likely to release a song called Your Mother's Got a Penis? Apart from Ween, only Goldie Lookin' Chain. There's only one lead rapper on this, but still a million and one people in the video, which is set in a supermarket for no adequately explained reason. It does have to be said, for all that the actual librretto isn't much cop (though this is a partial judgement: only about 70% makes it through the swear filter), the rave chords and breakbeats at the chorus are stupidly enjoyable, suggesting that there is someone in there who knows what he's doing.

The gimmick for the video to The Zutons' Don't Ever Think is more or less the video for Ride by The Vines reversed: instead of the gym hall filling up with other versions of the band, played by other people, it's full of the band, playing other people until there's 20 copies of them in various hats and jackets etc. This effect is magnified by the fact that two of the band look like the same Comedy Curlyhaired Scouser. The song is more enjoyable than anything else I've heard by them, it's merseybeat ska with a sexy saxophonist.

First of all casting Captain Sensible's Happy Time as a kids TV anthem is pretty insane, but the video for Dizzee Rascal's Dream outstrips the song entirely. It starts with two rows of building blocks which turn over to read DIZZEE RASCAL, and a grandmotherly figure playing on a piano, then she turns to the camera and says: "Shall we see what Dizzee's doing today? He _is_ a rascal." Then the jack in the box on the table opens, and Dizzee clambers out (he doesn't pop for anyone:) and starts complaining about too sensible etc. The rest of the video is just him and puppets (with really obvious strings), and it's mental. The only real problem is that they keep cutting back to the lady who'se got an air of "I don't want to do this but it's my job" in her smile, and it's like we get it, he's terrifying to old white women, well done.

Things parodied inside the 3:30 of Eminen's comeback single Just Lose It: Michael Jackson, Madonna, Michael Jackson, MC Hammer, Pee Wee Herman, Bad Santa (that's just the first thirty seconds so far), Michael Jackson's false nose and Micheal Jackson. And, in the spirit of fairness, 8 Mile. Not many of these parodies are in the actual track, which is an amiable mix of slander against the aforementioned King of Pop, the drunken misadventures of Marshall Mathers, and a jaunty party chorus. He loves his meta commentary, and I love him.

The video for Millionaire is strange, like it was made after only half the track was completed. There's a bunch of black kids getting up in the morning and doing a bunch of Sesame Street stuff (the fat kid steals it, obviously), and while there's clearly one who looks like Kelis, and sings her parts, the corresponding kid for Andre 3000 doesn't do squat. Also he doesn't look much like him, though there are admittedly limits in kid technology there. The song is pretty light, it's carried by its cohosts, but that shouldn't be a surpise. They've carried better material seperately. One of the interesting things about it is that there's nothing on it that couldn't be done 10 years ago? Even the drums are simple drum machine snares, rearranged for effect.

Nobody's Home is a morality tale in which the part of Avril Lavigne will be played by Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Charlize Theron. Or not, in fact. Avril cleans up nicely for the "narrator" shots, indeed with long blond hair and a backing string section she looks quite like Das Buffy. The problem is, she also cleans up well for the main "Runaway on the streets of the harsh city" sections, looking like a girl whose troubles don't include not getting enough moisturiser. Troubles, in fact, seem to be limited to the fact that she wants to go home (but nobody's home) and she's lost inside (lost inside). A more interesting question is what the exact relationship between the two Avrils is; is successful Avril providing a framing scene for hear earlier days, the tribulations she overcame to become truly classy? Or is it an ongoing series, a Troubled Teen Theatre, with Avril as Criswell-figure?

Tilt Ya Head Back starts off with the indignity of Nelly having to arrange the track himself "Put some horns right.. here". Doesn't he have people to do this for him? The rest of the track features Christina Aguilera, although it's about half Christina, featuring Nelly on hollas, and half Nelly, featuring some Destiny Child-like scat from Christina. All this over what's a lot closer to a funk tune than anything actually hiphop at all. The video is set backwhen the original original gangstas roamed the earth, and Nelly is a kingpin of some illegal nature, where the unspecified nature of the illegality leads to some comparison with Bugsy Malone (obviously this should only be seen as the highest of praise). Also, though Nelly is not shy of setting ridiculous styles in fashion, he may really have outdone himself by having one of his crew sport a Phantom Of The Opera mask.

Ride It (!), in which Geri runs through a collection of sexual fantasies: she's in a baby doll nightie, with a lollipop, she's wearing tennis gear, she's got an afro and hotpants - hang on, those are the rest of the Spice Girls she's being! And also a few more: Kylie, George Micheal and Dizzee Rascal get the imitable Geri treatment as well. The song is charitably a take on kylie in it's own right