3 hours of MTV XIX-XXII

Or 1st-22nd August. I'll dispense with the funny coloured text because it would all be funny coloured: all these songs came to me first through MTV

Soulwax's Any Minute Now in video as in song seems to be waiting for soemthing that never happens. I like the fact that it's the same poppy indie band as produced Converstation Intercom, nothing like 2 many DJs

A word of advice to Franz Ferdinand: by and large, if you're going to be Hitler Youth, black shirt, red tie, eye makeup, you'd hope that the song is going to make Gary Numan envious. Michael isn't going to cause anyone any worries in the auditory department, nice though it is, but the video might make for creepy viewing for Gary.

Today's WTF monent: the first beat on Triple Trouble, followed by the rest of the song. It sounds not so much retro like Jurassic 5 as just plain time capsule. There is nothing on this track that needs post-84 technology. The video is almost cartoon Beastie Boys (why isn't there a Beastie Boys cartoon?), with it's monster suit and boiler suits (and hats. The backwards baseball cap on MCA particularly looks like baldness awareness prevention) and the fish-eye. Always with the fish-eye.

J-Kwon - Tipsy: Errbody in the club get tips'! Is he really under age? Doesn't change much that the vcideo is in his house rather than an actual club. St. louis appeats to be a real party town, but none of the usual suspects. I imagine that the people who turn up at his house are a different class of usual suspects.

I don't know what it is about the first sample useed in Girls that is so specifically old school, perhaps there's a specfic accent that I associate with The Sugarhill Gang or something. The second sample, which is the same lines from a female voice. is definitely electroclash, and the bass is from god knows where. That's more or less it for The Prodigy's comeback, just round and round for four plus minutes. The kid in the videom looks entertained by the flashing lights and strange sights, anyone else may well lose the plot at some point. I wouldn't mind hearing it "out", mind. The bass seems important and lovely though my Sennheisers are, I don't think they're doing it justice.

Buggering Jesus, do they still make Embrace? Closer inspection reveals that the singer does actually have a pretty good voice, crooner-wise, but there is no excuse for this ploddy piano-loaded music in a world which alreeady has Coldplay and Doves. And that's if you like those two. The video (for Gravity is them in record studio, surrounded by friends. The Beatles have a lot to answer for there.

Lostprophets's Last Summer starts by sounding like like boys of summer, then the video warps to 74, where it reveals itself to be Boys of Summer with a slab of emo for a chorus, then forward to 85, time of the Henley, then forward to... 2004? Ah now lads, it's not like we can't count. If you're not going to face up to grunge (and specifically the fact that it is to your fans what the punk explosion was to grungeheads, the perfect thing that they just missed), then maybe you shouldn't be playing this game at all. It's not like the video has anything to say other than "some things change, some things stay the same".

Sunshine begins with a bit of Bill Withers, worse ways to start a record. And then it's on to a bit more of Bill Withers, and Twista ryhming about getting paid for three verses. And who is this Anthony Hamilton that the song is apparently featuring? it's some guy that they hired to sing the chorus from the original "lovely day", presumably because it was cheaprer than paying the estate. How.. shit.

Christina Milian is no Beyonce, and Joe Budden is no Jay-Z, but on Whatever U Want, they manage. If you close your eyes Christina could be Janet Jackson as seen earlier this year. In fact, if you open your eyes and squint... The video is pure sauce gold: oh no, the beach bunnies have broken down and have to socialize with Joe's auto crew until they get on the road. How will this work out? Hint: with sexy results.

The lead singer of The Killers has cleaned up a bit for their new video, he now looks like a seventies sharp lad, an Alfie, as he and the band wanders through the streets picking up followers. Along the way the All These Things That I've Done occurs: a big anthem about, let's be honest here, nothing much. I can't quite figure out what it reminds me of, other than maybe the verve if Richard Ashcoft was interested in other people. The song soars ever upwards (at one point it even sounds a bit gospel - they've just picked up a choir on theri travels), never entirely losing the resemblance to Marion. As it winds down at the end I realise: it's Fat Les's Vindaloo!

I know, I know, the softer bigotry of high expectations, but I'm really disappointed by the video for Stand Up Tall, the first single off Dizzee Rascal's second album Showtime. Apart from the whole hard boy gone bling shocker aspect (did the first record really sell well enough for that?) including the only London taxi with spinning rims, the hoodie is swapped out early on for a big yellow shirt that accents the Jay-Z resemblance. The lovely laydeez are another stumbling block: at first they appear to be a saucy version of standard Englishness (punks, bobbies, beefeaters), and taking the piss out of strippers. Then they get to the club (and I don't think Jay-Z ever appeared as the sole male in a club) and it turns out they are strippers. I suppose I had been hoping for an reverse war of independece; This is the the first global British rap scene, the first time that you could mention British rap to a reasonably up-to-date outsider (I may mean American, they do run the game), and they won't say "oh yeah, that guy and that guy and that guy", but "oh yeah, those guys", and I had been hoping that they'd take the best and leave the rest. A fucking harem is not my idea of the best. I had also, as a matter of personal preference, hoped the lyrical focus would stay paranoid rather thean triumphant. The track is great, like a garage remix of a videogame theme tune with a bit of a childrens adventure program theme thrown in.